{"id":1011,"date":"2008-10-01T12:41:39","date_gmt":"2008-10-01T12:41:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/wordpress\/?p=1011"},"modified":"2025-04-03T18:25:39","modified_gmt":"2025-04-03T23:25:39","slug":"oh_the_torture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/archives\/2008\/10\/oh_the_torture.html","title":{"rendered":"Oh, the torture."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>1) Au Bon Pain has suddenly, and without any type of notification (such as certified letter to me), <strong>stopped <\/strong>carrying <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nantucketnectars.com\/juice_info.php?juice=31\">Nantucket Nectars Half &#038; Half<\/a>, my most beloved bottled drink (half Ice Tea\/half Lemonade, what some would call an &#8220;Arnold Palmer&#8221;).<\/p>\n<p><u>Problem the first<\/u>:  This is the only reason I even went to ABP today.<\/p>\n<p><u>Problem the second<\/u>: This drink is almost impossible to find in Chicago.  (Even in NYC, I used to make special trips to Penn Station as there was a very reliable vendor of it there.)<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear ABP,<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ve just been banned from my lunchtime rotation for at least a month.  So there.<br \/>\nSincerely,<br \/>\nMy entire life is falling apart, and NOW THIS?<br \/>\nAre you kidding me,<br \/>\nDuff<\/em><\/p>\n<p>2) I for some unknown and clearly completely ridiculous reason ordered <strong>brown rice <\/strong>in my otherwise deliciously dependable Mayan Chicken Harvest Rice Bowl.<\/p>\n<p><u>Problem the first<\/u>: This brown rice thing?  Has a shall we call it very distinctive&#8230;.flavor?  We are not fans.<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear White Rice,<br \/>\nI am missing the shit out of you right now.<br \/>\nSincerely,<br \/>\nThe big loserly lover of blandness in her food,<br \/>\nDuff<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1) Au Bon Pain has suddenly, and without any type of notification (such as certified letter to me), stopped carrying Nantucket Nectars Half &#038; Half, my most beloved bottled drink (half Ice Tea\/half Lemonade, what some would call an &#8220;Arnold &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/archives\/2008\/10\/oh_the_torture.html\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-letters"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1011"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1885,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1011\/revisions\/1885"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}