{"id":1064,"date":"2008-12-09T19:00:38","date_gmt":"2008-12-09T19:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/wordpress\/?p=1064"},"modified":"2025-04-03T18:12:33","modified_gmt":"2025-04-03T23:12:33","slug":"things_i_am_no_","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/archives\/2008\/12\/things_i_am_no_.html","title":{"rendered":"Things I am no longer attending."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><UL type=\"square\"><LI><strong>Office Christmas Parties<\/strong>.  (Did I tell you about the time my married friend chose the office christmas party to announce how in love with me he was? And that wasn&#8217;t even the worst one!!)<br \/>\n<LI>Any kind of (but particularly Holiday) <strong>parties that are 99% couples <\/strong>with or without children and 1% single people, that being me.  No fucking thanks.<br \/>\n<LI><strong>Baby showers <\/strong>where I am the only crafty gifter.<br \/>\n<LI><strong>Non-family weddings<\/strong>.  (I originally said &#8220;Weddings&#8221; in general and then that year like 7 of my stupid cousins got married and I had to cave.  Jerks.)<\/UL><br \/>\nYou can go ahead and invite me if you refuse to believe it. But I ain&#8217;t comin&#8217;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Office Christmas Parties. (Did I tell you about the time my married friend chose the office christmas party to announce how in love with me he was? And that wasn&#8217;t even the worst one!!) Any kind of (but particularly Holiday) &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/archives\/2008\/12\/things_i_am_no_.html\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1064","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lists"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1064","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1064"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1064\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1592,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1064\/revisions\/1592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1064"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1064"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/crankymonkeybutt.com\/snip\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1064"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}