- Blow-out fracture of right eye orbit.*
- Broke right wrist (ALL wrist bones) and arm (ALL lower arm bones) once (in one fell swoop).
- “Deep bone bruise” to right knee/outside shin bone (i.e. fluid inside the bone. looks super cool on the MRI).**
- Broke little toe on right foot four times in the same summer (damn chair).
- Torn muscular tissue on bottom of right foot. Ongoing problem.
- Boil (staph infection) in lower lip. Hospitalized for a week. Fun, fun.
- Boil in forehead (staph again). Fun emergency room visit. Lots of blood.
- Sprained left wrist at least four times.
- Sprained right wrist at least seven times.
- Sprained right foot during kickboxing/jumprope class.***
- Sprained right ankle jumping in tractor tire intertubes. Twice. Yeouch.
Things we have learned from this: A) The right side of my body is clearly problematic; B) Sprains often hurt much much MUCH worse than breaks; and C) Boils are taken far more seriously by doctors than by me.
*This is how I met Billy Baldwin and still have one of his t-shirts – no joke.
**Honestly how is it called a “bruise” when your knee is at least swollen up to four times its size and you lose ability to walk/run/do stairs/etc. for many, many months.
***Bonus = found out I have extra bones known as “accessory navicular” or “auxiliary navicular” bones.