Number of times I went swimming this year in either ocean, lake or pool: ZERO.
Number of times last year: ZERO.
Year before: Maybe? ONE or TWO during physical therapy no less.

Number of swimsuits I bought this year: TWO.
Number of swimsuits last year: At least ONE, maybe two or three.
Number of (lap-swimming) suits hanging on the door of the closet: TWO.
Number of (beach & pool) swimsuits in a plastic bin under the bed: At least SEVEN.

Number of delusions I clearly have about how much swimming I do in my life: MANY.