- Office Christmas Parties. (Did I tell you about the time my married friend chose the office christmas party to announce how in love with me he was? And that wasn’t even the worst one!!)
- Any kind of (but particularly Holiday) parties that are 99% couples with or without children and 1% single people, that being me. No fucking thanks.
- Baby showers where I am the only crafty gifter.
- Non-family weddings. (I originally said “Weddings” in general and then that year like 7 of my stupid cousins got married and I had to cave. Jerks.)
You can go ahead and invite me if you refuse to believe it. But I ain’t comin’.